Jared Wise resigns from Justice Dept

 In a case where indeed throwing the baby out with the bath water is a good thing, Jared Wise has resigned from the Justice Department at or around the same time as Pam Bondi's dismissal.  Apparently, Jared Wise was ousted in some sort of power struggle in the Justice Department's "Weaponization Working Group".  I am not completely sure if that means they were working on further weaponizing the current administration's Justice Department or simply looking at the previous administration's. But I will take a wild guess and deduce that it is the prior administration. Let's put it up there with Peacekeeping Missiles as one of my favorite all time oxmorons.  "Who are you calling an oxmoron?" 

Jared Wise, in case you don't remember, urged violence against the Capitol Police during the riot on Jan 6, as evidenced by transcipt of his own testimony.  I guess credit should be given to remove the fox from the henhouse or at least turning up the temperature high enough that the fox decides to leave.

Benjamin Martin pardoned J6er Now Candidate for Madera County Supervisor

 Convicted then Pardoned J6er, Benjamin Martin has announced his candidancy for Madera County Supervison. The incumbent candiate isn't particularly worried that the former real estate agent turned gourmet mushroom farmer will unseat him. But if you job entails keeping your product in the dark and and feeding it horsesh*t all day, that is pretty good training for a career in politics. That said, he should not have trimmed his beard up and left it like a 70's bush.

Once, when I was younger and stupid, a friend and I were drinking at a dive bar and proceeded to close it out.  Our dinner consisted of the free popcorn in the bar, which is the greatest idea of all time.  If you are the bar owner, not for dinner.  Anyway, it was snowing and foggy that evening around the holidays.  We were stumbling back to my buddy's dive apartment, when he had the brilliant idea of climbing a ladder to go onto the roof of the local Nipple Works factory.  The steam billowing from the short smokestacks had created a surreal vibe, with the snow, fog, and our intoxication. After about 5 minutes of walking around the 3 story rooftop enjoying the scenery, the police arrived.  They had a spotlight and asked us politely to come down.  My fiend was grabbed rather quickly, but I decided to hang around under a smokestack and and hide.  15 Minutes later, an officer grabbed my arm and escorted me down from the building.

We were charged with defiant trespassing, booked, and held for a little while.  The court date was a couple months later and we paid a minimal fine.  I remember it was once again, during a snowstorm as I had to travel from college back to my hometown for the hearing.  I told no one, ever, about this shameful incident.  Little did I know it was really God telling me to use it as a springboard to find my true calling, politics! 

Bryan Betancur J6er banned from DC Trains

 Bryan Betancur apparently has a hair fetish of some sort (allegedly). While he was pardoned for his field trip om January 6th and subsequent activities related to that, he has pending assault charges now for touching women's hair while on the DC Metro Train. And filming it of course and posting on x, to ensure a proper digital trail for use in the case. Inquires stated that he was not on his way to the patent office office or attending the annual Mensa Society Picnic, so those rumors can be ruled out.

Since it must have been a BOGO day, officers arrested him in the parking lot of the courthouse for a warrant on an "unrelated" charge.  Mr. Betancur has a 2019 burglary conviction already and a violation of an anti-stalking order from 2024.  A run for public office must be in his future.

Update: he was arrested again for a stalking allegation.

Brian Cole a Day Early a Dollar Short

 Brian Cole, who allegedly placed explosives  at or near the Democrat AND Replublican Headquarters in DC's downtown area on January 5th, is not able to cash in his J6 get out of jail free card for his alleged actions. President Trump's sweeping pardons only covered anti government actions like pooping in the Capitol, Tresppassing, Theft, and of course assaulting Police Officers if the actions occurred ON January 6th. The devil is in the details, my friend. Backstory:

The story of Brian Cole's alleged detour into Washington D.C. on January 5, 2021, plays out like a spy thriller directed by someone who accidentally swapped the script with a Home Depot shopping list and had an accident that dropped their IQ by 40 points.

After nearly five years, investigators finally "solved" the mystery in late 2025. There were all kinds of fun accusations and conspiracy theories laid to rest. Here is a summary of the events that led to his current legal issues

On the evening of January 5th, Cole reportedly decided that the best way to spend his Tuesday night was to drive his Nissan Sentra from Woodbridge, Virginia, into the heart of D.C. He opted for the Classic J6 Starter Kit Outfit of a grey hoodie, a face mask, and very distinctive Nike Air Max Speed Turf shoes. My years of watching Crime TV reveals that means distinctive footprints, etc.  According to the FBI, he spent about an hour wandering the streets of Capitol Hill like a tourist who had lost their hotel. He was caught on camera taking casual breaks on park benches and strolling through alleys, all while carrying a backpack that definitely wasn't full of souvenir postcards.

Prosecutors allege that Cole’s explosive devices weren't exactly high-tech military hardware. Instead, they were more of a DIY project: He allegedly built the bombs using galvanized pipes and white kitchen-style timers he’d been buying at Home Depot and Lowe’s since 2019. He placed one bomb near the RNC and one near the DNC. They were functional and "viable," but in a stroke of luck for everyone involved, the 60-minute timers he reportedly set failed to actually detonate the devices.

While the masked hoodie-look worked for the cameras for a while, his technology was less cooperative: His cell phone was pinging off towers in the exact vicinity of the RNC and DNC right as the bombs were being placed. His Nissan Sentra was caught by a license plate reader less than a half-mile from the scene. Investigators eventually just looked at his bank statements and found a steady history of "bomb-making-kit" purchases.

In a move that could only happen in 2026, Cole’s defense attorneys are currently arguing that he shouldn't be prosecuted because he was already pardoned. They claim that because President Trump issued a mass pardon for everyone involved in "events at or near the Capitol on January 6," and because his bombs were found on January 6, he counts as a "J6 participant." He’s just an “early” person, not a “late” person!

 

Jake Lang charged with threatening Officer

Jake Lang went to a 5th anniversary event of the January 6th Riot and allegedly threatened an officer. Lang has already applied to run for office and protested in front an AIPAC Office and allegedly made a Nazi Salute. AIPAC is a pro-Israeli lobbying firm.

Jake Lang is the ultimate product of the Modern American Pardon: a man who was handed a "Get Out of Jail Free" card and immediately decided to use it to buy a hotel on the most offensive square on the board. Having been liberated from the federal "clink" for his participation in the January 6th festivities—an event he apparently remembers as a "beautiful" theological seminar—Lang is now running for the U.S. Senate in Florida.  And getting arrested for threatening police officers.

In Florida, of course, "running for Senate" is a hobby roughly as common as collecting seashells or getting a suspicious mole checked out. But Lang isn't just running; he’s performing. His platform is a dizzying cocktail of "Great Replacement" paranoia, medieval Crusade role-play, and a fixation on bacon that suggests he has a very confused understanding of both Islam and breakfast.

At his recent demonstration outside AIPAC headquarters, Lang combined the gravitas of a kindergarten teacher with the rhetoric of a Nuremberg rally. He threw chocolate coins. Gelt, I am guessing. One can only imagine the strategic meetings that led to this.

The danger of the "Lang Type" isn't that they are going to win an election. Lang has raised about as much money as a high school car wash during a thunderstorm, and he’s challenging an incumbent with the kind of presidential backing that Lang can only dream of. No, the danger is that Lang represents the "Unfiltered Id" of a political movement that has lost its internal GPS.

In the old days, twenty minutes ago antisemitism and Nazi salutes were considered "career-ending moves," much like admitting you enjoyed soy milk or that you actually read the bills before voting on them. Today, thanks to the miracle of the internet and the total collapse of the shame industry, Lang can stand on a sidewalk, peddle tropes about God knows what  and still find himself in the same conversation as mainstream politicians.

He is the "Sovereign Subservient." He screams about "freedom" and "guns" while simultaneously demanding a government that would hang his political opponents from the gallows. It’s a specific kind of cognitive dissonance that requires a very sturdy helmet to maintain. He wants a "Crusade," but he wants it to be televised, tax-exempt, and presumably catered.

Lang’s rhetoric about "hanging for treason" is the hallmark of the modern political hobbyist. To the Langs of the world, "treason" is defined as, well, I don’t think they really know. But they shout about it. It’s a convenient definition. It saves you the trouble of having to learn about policy, trade agreements, or how a bill actually becomes a law (hint: it usually involves a lot of people in expensive suits lying to each other in a steakhouse).

The real danger here is the baseline theory of crazy. By the time someone like Jake Lang is done yelling about anchor babies and brainwashing in Hollywood, the person standing next to him, the one who is only slightly paranoid starts to look like a moderate. He moves the "Overton Window" so far to the right that the window is now located in a different zip code entirely.

Often, we look at politicians as a bunch of people who want to run your life because they thought they know better than you. Jake Lang is a variation on that theme, but with more Nazi salutes and less coherent planning.

Lang is a reminder that when you empty the jails of "patriots," you don't always get Cincinnatus returning to his plow. Sometimes you just get a guy in Florida with a bag of chocolate coins and a very loud megaphone, shouting into the wind about a Crusade that exists only in his own head.

The good news? Most Floridians are too busy worrying about their insurance premiums to join a Crusade led by a guy who thinks Hanukkah gelt is a tactical weapon. The bad news? In 2026, the line between "fringe lunatic" and "campaign trail regular" is getting thinner than the foil on one of Jake's coins.

Phil Grillo, Pardoned J6er Runs for Office in Queens

 Phillip S Grillo, who enjoys taking selfies with a lit cigarette in his mouth and storming a Capitol with a megaphone in his hand in his spare time, has filed to run in the Primary for the 26th Assembly District of New York State which represents Northeast Queens.  Previously, he ran for George Santos's vacated seat unsuccessfully. Unlike many of his fellow rioters, Phillip has some political experience as he was a district leader of the Republican Party previously.  He also is a retired NYC Police Officer who ironically or unironically at one point worked security of the perimeter of Gracie Mansion.  Additionally, he is/was an active member of the Knights of Columbus, and wore a jacket identifying himself as a member during the J6 riot.  That evidence was used in his original conviction in the storming of the Capitol.

During his participation of the riot on the Capitol on January 6th, 2021 Mr. Grillo is allegedly on video and audio recordings claiming that he is there to stop the steal and allegedly requests a hit a maurijauna from a fellow rioter and hi fives him afterward. To his credit, he did tell the judge at his conviction hearing, correctly, that he would be pardoned.  I'm no resume analyst but if that doesn't scream out "election victory" I don't know what does.

Brian Mock, alleged assaulter of police, pardoned J6er, runs for office in MN

 Not a good look when your own son testifies against you.  Good luck.

I don't want to mock a guy who has a last name, of well, Mock but sometimes the jokes write themselves. We turn our weary eyes to Minnesota. Specifically, we look at Mr. Brian Dale Mock, a man who has decided that the best way to follow up a federal prison sentence for assaulting police officers is to ask the public for a promotion.

If you want to understand the current state of American democracy, don’t look at the C-SPAN floor or the Ivy League debating societies. Look at Brian Dale Mock. Brian is a landscaping company owner, a former debt collector, and a man who, on January 6, 2021, decided to treat the U.S. Capitol like a particularly rowdy frat party and have a very low tolerance for "unstructured feedback."

Most people, upon being convicted of eleven counts including felony assault and theft of government property, might consider a quiet life of growing rutabagas or perhaps taking up a hobby that doesn’t involve "total rebellion." But Brian is an American. And in America, a criminal record isn't a "barrier to entry"; it’s a "proven track record of fighting the system."

Brian is running for the Minnesota State Senate. His campaign slogan is "Your Proven Fighter," which is technically true, though usually, "proven fighters" in politics are talking about tackling the marginal tax rate, not tackling a Sergeant at Arms and bragging about it later.

The background here is what we in the "not-currently-indicted" community call eventful. Brian’s journey to the Capitol was a family affair, though not the kind you see in Hallmark movies. He drove to D.C. with his girlfriend, telling his oldest son he "might die there." This is the kind of fatherly advice that usually leads to a lot of therapist bills, and indeed, his son eventually testified against him. There is nothing quite like the warmth of a family bond being replaced by a federal subpoena.

During the "frenzy"—a delightful term used by prosecutors to describe what the rest of us call "multiple felonies"—Brian was seen shoving officers, throwing a broken flagpole like an Olympic javelin with none of the grace, and "liberating" two riot shields. He later told his friends he’d "taken down at least 6 cops." It’s the kind of boast you usually hear from a teenager playing Call of Duty, except Brian was doing it in a brisk January breeze on the West Plaza.

Of course, Brian claims it’s all been "blown out of proportion." This is the standard defense of the modern politician, when you’re caught with your hand in the cookie jar. If you’re caught with your hand in the cookie jar while running for office, you’re a "victim of a narrative." Brian even argued in court that when he posted about Nancy, he was talking about Nancy Sinatra, not Nancy Pelosi. Because, as we all know, the biggest threat to American liberty in 2021 was a 1960s pop star whose boots were made for walking.

But wait, there’s more! Where is that Ronco guy when we need him and a set of ginsu knives? Brian’s resume also includes a 2010 incident where he allegedly pointed a gun at three children during a birthday party because he thought they were trying to start a fire. When the SWAT team arrived, he did the only logical thing: he barricaded himself inside and shaved his head. It’s the kind of calm, measured crisis management we look for in a state legislator.  There also was an accusation that he assaulted his ex-wife in 2009, and she claimed she rescinded the accusation after he tried to blackmail her and threaten to get her fired from her job. (allegedly of course and this is hearsay)

Now, thanks to a pardon from the 47th President—a man who knows a thing or two about "alternative" legal outcomes, Brian is out of the clink and on the ballot. He’s campaigning on criminal justice reform. And why not? No one knows the system better than a guy who’s been tackled by every branch of it.

In the old days, a candidate with a history of assaulting police and threatening children with firearms would be told to "go away" by a man in a smoke-filled room. But now he is a disruptor or an unconventional truth teller.