Convicted then Pardoned J6er, Benjamin Martin has announced his candidancy for Madera County Supervison. The incumbent candiate isn't particularly worried that the former real estate agent turned gourmet mushroom farmer will unseat him. But if you job entails keeping your product in the dark and and feeding it horsesh*t all day, that is pretty good training for a career in politics. That said, he should not have trimmed his beard up and left it like a 70's bush.
Once, when I was younger and stupid, a friend and I were drinking at a dive bar and proceeded to close it out. Our dinner consisted of the free popcorn in the bar, which is the greatest idea of all time. If you are the bar owner, not for dinner. Anyway, it was snowing and foggy that evening around the holidays. We were stumbling back to my buddy's dive apartment, when he had the brilliant idea of climbing a ladder to go onto the roof of the local Nipple Works factory. The steam billowing from the short smokestacks had created a surreal vibe, with the snow, fog, and our intoxication. After about 5 minutes of walking around the 3 story rooftop enjoying the scenery, the police arrived. They had a spotlight and asked us politely to come down. My fiend was grabbed rather quickly, but I decided to hang around under a smokestack and and hide. 15 Minutes later, an officer grabbed my arm and escorted me down from the building.
We were charged with defiant trespassing, booked, and held for a little while. The court date was a couple months later and we paid a minimal fine. I remember it was once again, during a snowstorm as I had to travel from college back to my hometown for the hearing. I told no one, ever, about this shameful incident. Little did I know it was really God telling me to use it as a springboard to find my true calling, politics!
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