"I want my 2 Dollars!" Says Christopher Price and Cynthia Ballinger

January 6th Rioters Price and Ballinger have filed a motion requesting their $570 fines be refunded, after they were convicted and subsequently pardoned for their alleged crimes at the breach of the Capitol on January 6th 2021.  The question is who refunds the money.  I guess the feces and other destruction caused on Jan 6th were automatically removed upon the blanket pardon. The question is will the Architect of the Capitol and the Crime Victims Fund refund the $570.  I'm no mathmetician or economist, but I'd think the time and cost of retrieving the $570 will cost more than $570. I think Pirro's blowout costs more than $570.

Public service announcement, if you do not get the I want my 2 Dollars reference, I sugest you immediately put down whatever you are doing and go watch "Better Off Dead" starring our favorite future kickboxer.

Daniel Tocci J6er Sentenced to 4 years for Child Porn

 I almost passed over the news of Daniel Tocci being sentenced to 4 years in Prison for his massive collection of child sexual abuse images, amonst other depraved videos in his collection.  I had him confused with Andrew Paul Johnson, another J6er recently convicted of sexual abuse of minors. I wonder what he whistled at when he was working construction in Western Massachusetts.  I dont know how one would have the time to have over 100,000 sexual images, but allegedly he did. He argued that the search of his home was due to his particpation in the J6 riot and since he was pardoned, that prosecutors shouldn't consider his illegal porn stash as legally obtained evidence, or something like that.  I wonder how you explain that to your construction site buddies.

Good luck in Prison. Pro tip: shave the moustache before serving your bid.

NY Times Steals my thunder covers J6er's Crimes post J6

 Come on NYT, I was here first.  But looks like a good read.  I don't think I covered Joseph Munafo who doesn't sound like much of a fun mofo.  He allegedly assaulted police during the J6 riots, including punching a police officer multiple times, making off with a riot shield, and using a flag pole to break a window. His anger management classes have had mixed success, as he allegedly threatened a 911 dispatcher in his latest legal encounters and was charged with multiple othe rmenacing phone calls.

Jared Wise resigns from Justice Dept

 In a case where indeed throwing the baby out with the bath water is a good thing, Jared Wise has resigned from the Justice Department at or around the same time as Pam Bondi's dismissal.  Apparently, Jared Wise was ousted in some sort of power struggle in the Justice Department's "Weaponization Working Group".  I am not completely sure if that means they were working on further weaponizing the current administration's Justice Department or simply looking at the previous administration's. But I will take a wild guess and deduce that it is the prior administration. Let's put it up there with Peacekeeping Missiles as one of my favorite all time oxmorons.  "Who are you calling an oxmoron?" 

Jared Wise, in case you don't remember, urged violence against the Capitol Police during the riot on Jan 6, as evidenced by transcipt of his own testimony.  I guess credit should be given to remove the fox from the henhouse or at least turning up the temperature high enough that the fox decides to leave.

Benjamin Martin pardoned J6er Now Candidate for Madera County Supervisor

 Convicted then Pardoned J6er, Benjamin Martin has announced his candidancy for Madera County Supervison. The incumbent candiate isn't particularly worried that the former real estate agent turned gourmet mushroom farmer will unseat him. But if you job entails keeping your product in the dark and and feeding it horsesh*t all day, that is pretty good training for a career in politics. That said, he should not have trimmed his beard up and left it like a 70's bush.

Once, when I was younger and stupid, a friend and I were drinking at a dive bar and proceeded to close it out.  Our dinner consisted of the free popcorn in the bar, which is the greatest idea of all time.  If you are the bar owner, not for dinner.  Anyway, it was snowing and foggy that evening around the holidays.  We were stumbling back to my buddy's dive apartment, when he had the brilliant idea of climbing a ladder to go onto the roof of the local Nipple Works factory.  The steam billowing from the short smokestacks had created a surreal vibe, with the snow, fog, and our intoxication. After about 5 minutes of walking around the 3 story rooftop enjoying the scenery, the police arrived.  They had a spotlight and asked us politely to come down.  My fiend was grabbed rather quickly, but I decided to hang around under a smokestack and and hide.  15 Minutes later, an officer grabbed my arm and escorted me down from the building.

We were charged with defiant trespassing, booked, and held for a little while.  The court date was a couple months later and we paid a minimal fine.  I remember it was once again, during a snowstorm as I had to travel from college back to my hometown for the hearing.  I told no one, ever, about this shameful incident.  Little did I know it was really God telling me to use it as a springboard to find my true calling, politics! 

Bryan Betancur J6er banned from DC Trains

 Bryan Betancur apparently has a hair fetish of some sort (allegedly). While he was pardoned for his field trip om January 6th and subsequent activities related to that, he has pending assault charges now for touching women's hair while on the DC Metro Train. And filming it of course and posting on x, to ensure a proper digital trail for use in the case. Inquires stated that he was not on his way to the patent office office or attending the annual Mensa Society Picnic, so those rumors can be ruled out.

Since it must have been a BOGO day, officers arrested him in the parking lot of the courthouse for a warrant on an "unrelated" charge.  Mr. Betancur has a 2019 burglary conviction already and a violation of an anti-stalking order from 2024.  A run for public office must be in his future.

Update: he was arrested again for a stalking allegation.

Brian Cole a Day Early a Dollar Short

 Brian Cole, who allegedly placed explosives  at or near the Democrat AND Replublican Headquarters in DC's downtown area on January 5th, is not able to cash in his J6 get out of jail free card for his alleged actions. President Trump's sweeping pardons only covered anti government actions like pooping in the Capitol, Tresppassing, Theft, and of course assaulting Police Officers if the actions occurred ON January 6th. The devil is in the details, my friend. Backstory:

The story of Brian Cole's alleged detour into Washington D.C. on January 5, 2021, plays out like a spy thriller directed by someone who accidentally swapped the script with a Home Depot shopping list and had an accident that dropped their IQ by 40 points.

After nearly five years, investigators finally "solved" the mystery in late 2025. There were all kinds of fun accusations and conspiracy theories laid to rest. Here is a summary of the events that led to his current legal issues

On the evening of January 5th, Cole reportedly decided that the best way to spend his Tuesday night was to drive his Nissan Sentra from Woodbridge, Virginia, into the heart of D.C. He opted for the Classic J6 Starter Kit Outfit of a grey hoodie, a face mask, and very distinctive Nike Air Max Speed Turf shoes. My years of watching Crime TV reveals that means distinctive footprints, etc.  According to the FBI, he spent about an hour wandering the streets of Capitol Hill like a tourist who had lost their hotel. He was caught on camera taking casual breaks on park benches and strolling through alleys, all while carrying a backpack that definitely wasn't full of souvenir postcards.

Prosecutors allege that Cole’s explosive devices weren't exactly high-tech military hardware. Instead, they were more of a DIY project: He allegedly built the bombs using galvanized pipes and white kitchen-style timers he’d been buying at Home Depot and Lowe’s since 2019. He placed one bomb near the RNC and one near the DNC. They were functional and "viable," but in a stroke of luck for everyone involved, the 60-minute timers he reportedly set failed to actually detonate the devices.

While the masked hoodie-look worked for the cameras for a while, his technology was less cooperative: His cell phone was pinging off towers in the exact vicinity of the RNC and DNC right as the bombs were being placed. His Nissan Sentra was caught by a license plate reader less than a half-mile from the scene. Investigators eventually just looked at his bank statements and found a steady history of "bomb-making-kit" purchases.

In a move that could only happen in 2026, Cole’s defense attorneys are currently arguing that he shouldn't be prosecuted because he was already pardoned. They claim that because President Trump issued a mass pardon for everyone involved in "events at or near the Capitol on January 6," and because his bombs were found on January 6, he counts as a "J6 participant." He’s just an “early” person, not a “late” person!